We’ve all had situations where our emotions got the best of us, whether we’re sitting in traffic, dealing with a difficult driver, or arguing with a loved one.  Often it’s because we didn’t realize what was happening until we were too far down the “emotional train” to change it. We say things we don’t mean and that we’ll later regret, because we haven’t cultivated emotional mastery. And when you don’t master your emotions/mood, you’re not able to identify and handle them until it’s too late.

Frank Outlaw stated, ”Watch your thoughts, they become words; watch your words, they become actions; watch your actions, they become habits; watch your habits, they become character; watch your character, for it becomes your destiny."  This starts with being mindful of ones emotional health.  Emotions are complex states involving both physical and mental changes that effect our...

We live in a time when society is wanting to be constantly entertained. Humanity is driven by the next fix to bring them peace, joy, and happiness. When in reality it is up us to find our own joy in each day. It is a choice one makes. Your happiness is your own responsibility.  Don't rely on anyone else to achieve it. This is perhaps the most important realization that you need to make in order to achieve happiness in life and in yourself.

As I coach my clients in this topic, there has been one question that seems to always be asked.  "What does it mean/how does one to be responsible for your own joy?” My answer is the same every time. Taking personal responsibility means not blaming others for your unhappiness. It means figuring out ways in which you can be happy despite others' (negative) behaviors and despite the external circumstances.  This doesn't mean that very happy people blindly accepting whatever is happening to them.  A...

My favorite quote regarding failure comes from Michael Jordan who said: “I’ve missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. Twenty-six times I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.” I love this quote because it reminds us that no success is possible if we are not willing to experience failure. Failure is simply part of the process of eventually winning. However, Jordan’s quote stops short of something that I know had to be a part of his process. We can’t just accept failure as part of the process. We must be open to the lessons that come from those failures that make it less likely in the future. Failure is inevitable. Learning from it is a choice that is necessary if we are going to fail well and avoid the same mistakes in the future.  

Learning from failure is a conscious decision that requires...

For a lot of us, this has been a rough year, a tiring year, a painful year. Some years carry a heavier toll than others, and this is one of them. Yet in spite of that, or maybe because of it, there’s something you need to do: tell your story. Telling your story, with all its challenges, mistakes, failures, pain, setbacks as well as its joys, successes and victories says something about what it means to be human. Telling your story can even inspire others to take the first step on their path to living their authentic life! I know how tired you are. I know some of you you don’t feel heard. I know some of you might fear you don’t matter. You do!

Everyone’s experiences are unique, and as we share our stories, our perspectives, our take on world building and character development, we actually expand other people’s understanding.Your story matters because it is uniquely your own, and no one can tell it the way you can...

It’s so easy to blame people and circumstances for everything that goes wrong in your life?  The truth is, the blame game is no fun to play and there are never any winners. And, perhaps, the biggest loser of all is the one who is doing all the blaming. When we blame others, we lose our power. Remaining stuck in our feelings of anger, resentment or abandonment only hurts us, not the other person. Brene Brown explains that blame has an inverse relationship with accountability.  It literally gets us off the hook.  Makes us feel better.  Gives us a sense of control.  But it has destructive consequences.  

Blame is an example of defensiveness, one of the communication killers, a form of self-protection that places us in a one-up stance (righteousness) or one-down (playing the victim).  This leads to a lack of empathy and understanding in relationships and makes it hard to listen and understand the other person....

Willful blindness, also known as conscious avoidance is a term used in law to describe a situation in which a person seeks to avoid civil or criminal liability for a wrongful act by intentionally keeping themselves unaware of facts that would render them liable or implicated.  Although the term was originally and still is used in legal contexts, the phrase "willful ignorance" has come to mean any situation in which people intentionally turn their attention away from an ethical problem  that is believed to be important by those using the phrase (for instance, because the problem is too disturbing for people to want it dominating their thoughts, or from the knowledge that solving the problem would require extensive effort).

Lately I have observed far too many individuals implementing willful ignorance.  It has left me with an alarming feeling. The biggest threats and dangers we face are the ones we don't see--not because they're secret or invisible, but...

Have you had others (family and friends) try to keep you stuck in an old version of yourself?  I know I am not alone in this.  It is like they do everything in their power to remind you (beat into you) the way you use to be. These individuals will not acknowledge the growth and changes you have gone through.  It seems impossible for them to grasp the concept that the version of you they are pushing is dead and gone. 

This has happened to me quite a bit recently and I have done my best to address it by informing them that person is dead.  Inviting those that cannot see who I have become to get to know the new me, the person I have fought so hard to become. Most, if not all, of my attempts have fallen short or met with forceful resistance.  Their reaction made me take a step back and pause.  

I could not grasp the mindset that those that should be in my corner and encourage/support my growth cannot do so.  I briefly thought to myself how...

Are you one that pushes yourself too hard? Or do you tend to be the one that errors on the side of caution? Personally I am one that has spent most of my life pushing myself until I break. Most of us are on either end of the spectrum.  We either do too much or not enough. 

One thing I have learned in the last few years is that we must have balance in all areas of our lives.  That includes knowing how much pressure to apply.  We must learn to push ourselves harder when need be.  As well as when to give ourselves space and grace to stay still and release the pressure.  

There are seasons when applying more pressure is necessary. I always find it interesting to know how some people achieve such great levels of success. I try to understand their habits and approaches through reading books and articles about them. The one thing I often see is that successful people push themselves to points of discomfort.  I found one major difference in...

Have you been feeling like you are being pulled in a different direction? Maybe in your career, where you live, or even a relationship.  Is what you once loved doing now feeling mundane? Then you my friend are being called out.  

We are about to enter 2022.  To say these last couple of years has been daunting would be a vast understatement.  During this season many have found themselves at a stand still.  Some have felt stuck, lost, and confused.  Many for the first time in their lives.  That can be a scary place to be.  

Personally I know I when covid hit (aka the world stopped)  I felt like I was in a state of limbo.  I knew what I was once doing (education) no longer felt right for me.  I use to love my work. I could not wait to get to see my  students everyday and I would be so excited of what the day would bring.  What new adventures would come and new things we could discover.  Then slowly ( or so...